Betrayal

She filed for divorce yesterday.

That's not shocking, we all knew that was coming.

Her lawyer forwarded me a copy of the complaint, as a courtesy.

There are two things about the complaint, that I found interesting, for the lack of a better word.

Her address is not listed.  Instead, it is c/o the lawyer.  But in the text of the document it states that she is a resident of the county I live in.

She left me, she quit her job, she ghosted on our friends.  Why does she still live here.  I mean right here.  This is one of the most expensive places to live in Maryland.  Why not move somewhere more affordable.  You could do that and still be in the greater Baltimore area.  You could do that easily.

And why is she still be so secretive.  It's been over 6 weeks.  I signed the papers.  Is she scared that I'd show up... and do what?  Yell?  Plead?  I signed the papers.  Or is she hiding something?

I'm am beginning to believe that there is only one answer to both of those questions.

I think she left me for someone else.

How could that be without me being aware?  I have a hard time coming up with an answer to that.

But, I'm starting to see how it could have happened.  I couldn't guess how or where it would have started, but it would have been sometime in March, maybe April.  That is when, as I reflect on it, she really starting pulling away.

There were some long shopping trips she took.  Gone for hours.  It seemed like a long time to me, but I didn't think anything of it, I'm told girls like to shop.

There was a weekend trip in early May to go bird watching in western Maryland.  Just her, some "me" time.

I told you in the first post that she rarely slept in the same bed as me.  Most nights, we went to bed together, I fell asleep and when I woke up she was wasn't there.  Her and her cat would be in the guest bedroom.  A few nights I woke up in the middle of the night, to find the cat in bed with me.  It's possible that she could have left for a bit and the cat got lonely.  Also, what woke me up in the middle of the night?

There was the time frame where she must have already quit her job and was still "going to work."  And was getting home later, some days.  Overtime... I was told.

There was the time in May that she went and got her self fitted for new bras.  A work one and a "fun" one.

There was the period of time in May and in to June that she wouldn't take her shirt off in front of me.  During that time, we had sex and she kept her shirt on.  Usually she liked it when I gave attention to her boobs.  She didn't want me to touch them. Or even see them.

During that time, I noticed bruises on her boobs.  Must be the new bra she said.

The last time we had sex, two weeks before she left me, felt like go through the motions.  I knew she wasn't in to it.

Maybe, I'm seeing things that aren't real.  Maybe I'm connecting the wrong dots.  But it would answer a whole lot of questions.

The funny thing is, it doesn't change anything.  I just want to know, so I can stop replaying it all in my head.

The lawyer gave the option to have the Complaint served to me by mail or by process server.

Mail would be easier.  But I'm leaning towards making her pay for a process server.  Just to make her pay for it.  What do you guys think?