Perspective

There is no playbook for this.

But I can't stand the uncertainty.

An insight came to me.  While it is all very different, I've been through a divorce before.

It will have been 6 weeks tonight.  So I ask myself, where was I six weeks into my first separation?  I was still pretty miserable, as I review the calendar.  I had just gone through my first Christmas and New Year without my family.  That was raw.  I remember that clearly.  And I was staring down my 38th birthday.  It felt bleak.

The real question, becomes, when did I get better?  Or at least better enough?

14 and a half weeks after I moved out, I worked up the nerve to ask out a cute (maybe hot) blond.  And she said yes.  Of course, she was crazy.  But that's not the point.  By 14 and a half weeks in, I felt good enough about myself to ask out a chick that by what I knew at the time, was out of my league.  And she said yes.

So maybe, I should consider myself somewhere near half way there.

Of course, I also need to look at the lessons learned there.  I dated the blond for 2 and a half years, living with her for part of that time.  I started dated wife 2 not long after that ended.  I didn't really rush into either of those, but I did latch on the first girl I clicked with in both cases.

I somehow need to sort out in my head, that just because it works with someone, that it has doesn't have to be forever.  Or more accurately, I have empirical proof, that it doesn't last for ever.

I need to be a little more selective.  It's not who will accept Jeckles, but instead, who should Jeckles accept?

I know I'm putting cart ahead of the horse here.  But I think it is important that I have this sorted, before I get to the point where someone makes my knees weak and I fall head over heels, because that's just the kind of guy I am.

I do have a limiting factor in my favor.  When I met the other two, my son wasn't living me.  He is now.  So I won't be able to just move in with someone, nor will I be in a rush to move someone in with my son and I.  He's got 2 years of high school left, if we're lucky.  And I don't think I can make any life altering moves during that time.

So I can and will date.  Maybe even get in a more serious relationship.  But there is time before I can even think of committing seriously.  And 2 years seems like a more than reasonable amount of time.

Hell, during that time, I might even get myself together.