Okay, I'll admit I was in a pretty bad mood last night. But, I'm feeling better today.
I got trained on the back bar today. That is a service bar. All of the drinks that guests order from the servers come from there.
It was different. But good. I feel like I picked it up pretty quickly. Of course, it was trial by fire. Multiple sold out theaters all day long. When it got crazy busy, they pulled me to run. This isn't anything personal, bartenders are always the back up to support runners when it gets backed up. It make sense too. No point in having bartenders keep making drinks, when they aren't getting out theaters.
So, an 11 hour day to start my week. I like it.
You may wonder, why is this guy always updating about his hours and how many steps he took (18,000 for the record) on this blog?
It is an easy way for to measure that I am accomplishing something. Sure, it's just running food and pouring drinks for a lot of hours. But every day that I go in and do it (and do it well) is a success. I've learned that when success seems hard to find, to start counting up the little wins. It helps.
Are you familiar with Impostor Syndrome? It's the phenomenon where an individual believes that they are not really qualified to do what it is they are doing. It's pretty common. You may be asked to train someone how to do something at work, and a nagging little voice in your head says, but I'm not even sure that I do it right.
It is also common in job hunting and interview situations. And as rejections pile up, it gets worse. So imagine looking for a job in your field for a solid year and for whatever reason, no one wants to hire you. Well, that's me.
By September, I had hard time believing that I was qualified to push a broom. Add to that the rejection factory of dating apps. Over a year of that, and I actually met in person, one woman. And she was nuts. Now that nagging little voice is screaming at me, you are unqualified and quite frankly unlikable.
I know that these things aren't true. But the feeling is hard to shake.
So I go to work. And I succeed. And people actually like me. And then I write about it here.
Because it is going take a while to undo that feeling. I need to keep reminding myself. Writing it down (or at least typing it to the Internet) is the best way I know to reinforce it.
So bear with me and my little updates. These are baby steps I need to take.
1 comment:
I think logging your accomplishments is a necessary thing at this point, with all you've been through the last couple years (and even longer!). I like that you're doing it, so we can go along with you. YOu don't even realize how it helps ME. xoxox
So, thanks for that. :)
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