Tonight I delivered my son to his mother, after working a short (8 hour) shift. He's set for Thanksgiving. The rest of the country is making their preparations.
My family will be gathering at my folks' place (where I currently reside). There will be two turkeys, one grilled and one baked, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, pie and more. They will arrive at noon for a 2 PM feast.
Long before anyone shows up, I will be at work. And they will be long gone before I get home. Although, I do anticipate leftovers.
I am so okay with this.
The thought of being around the whole lot of them sounds... well... awful. The unasked questions. Are you still looking for a real job? Do you have a plan? We are entirely too polite to actually ask them. But they would nibble around the edges.
I do regret that I won't get to see my nieces and nephews (a grand total of 7 of them.) They are pretty awesome. But it is what it is. A mandatory work day.
Besides, the whole thankful thing isn't really where I'm at right now. I am thankful for my son. He's grown into an awesome young man. Better than I could have ever hoped for.
But after that, it's hard for me to think of gratitude without grieving what I've lost. I am grateful that I have this job. It's done wonders for me. But I've lost my career. I'm thankfully that my folks have helped support me, but I'm ashamed that they've had to.
And I'm not thankful at all for feeling so alone.
So yeah. I'll skip it. Go to work. Make overtime. And keep entirely too busy to let those thoughts into my head for long. I figure I can stretch into a 12 hour day.
And I guess, I am thankful for that too.
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